Into the Outside

I love Outside Magazine. It really touches my outdoorsy-ness. That need I have to be surrounded by mountains. To have space: wide open large amounts of space where there's only trees, mountains, rivers, animals, etc. No buildings, no sidewalks, no concrete or pavement besides maybe the main road in a small town.

It also opens up my sense of adventure. My wanderlust. Let's go trek Nepal, or learn to surf in Oahu, or ski in the Swiss Alps. They have all those trips detailed for you in the pages of the magazine. The only problem is that all those trips they detail and say are superb, cost well over $1000. And I'm being very loose with that number. Most of the serious trips cost $4-5K. Now I don't believe for a second that the majority of Outside readers can afford those kinds of trips. It's just a tease for them. "Ha ha, look at this, see how cool it is...ha ha, you can't have it." Yet it reads like it's for the everyday person. Not so much.

They need to do an edition every now and then that has cool trips on the cheaper side for someone like me. I would love to sate my passion for travel by going on one of their treks, but it's just not going to happen. At least not any time soon. Does that mean that I can't travel? That I can't do a cool adventure trip? Maybe. Maybe not. I imagine that there's someone out there that knows how to do a trip on the cheap. And I imagine the editors of Outside could find that person(s). It's time they got to work.

Oh What A Night - Part 1

So the 2412 BBQ went off with a blast this weekend. 3:00pm on Saturday rolled around and out came the Sparks, Blue Moon and some Stella. It was an interesting combination that effectively got everyone buzzed and some of us hyper to the point of talking a mile a minute.

Seriously.

The festivites started out a bit slow...We were all just sitting/standing in the kitchen drinking and talking. It was the four roommates and one friend. Then another guy shows up, he only knows me and we're all still sober and he's like the first one over so it's a little awkward but we deal because that's how it goes. So I say to Beth, "these parties are so funny. At the beginning of the night it's always awkward but give it a couple hours and..." She takes over from here and says "we'll all be hugging and laughing like we've know each other for ever."

And that's what happened. Everyone loves everyone if you get enough alcohol in their systems. And then kegs get thrown. Well, they get kicked first. We started out with one...turned into two...and both were gone pretty damn quickly. We also had tequila (of which I will never drink again. I HATE tequila), Vodka (several bottles), Jägermeister and Southern Comfort. All the bottles were empty by the end of the night. Signs of a great party.

I met Mr. Williams. Yes, if we married I wouldn't have to change my name. That weighs pretty heavily in my book. And besides, he's cute and nice. I also met He-Man. I swear, he was at my party. And the idiot still couldn't win the keg toss, even with his shirt off and 20+ tries. I had a run in with Beth and a bush. Beth and I won of course. But not for lack of scrapes and bruises on the Bush's part. Beth had a Knight in shining armor pick her up out of the bush...she gave him a kiss to say thank you. I got up with some help from my friends. It was quite a comical scene actually. Although I don't think any of us could see straight by that time...hence the meeting with the bush.

Beth and I were hugging and laughing like we'd known each other forever.

Then there was the strip flip cup. Not sure who's idea that was but there were too many boys without good bodies with their shirts off. Not a good combination. Then someone showed a boob. Not naming names but that same someone tried to take off their skirt. When I told this person that it was drunk logic being used the skirt stayed on. Although when I asked why a person would do that I was told it was okay "because I have a thong on." Yes. True story.

I also believe there was some wrestling, some kissing, some heavy drinking, some idiots talking shit and some alcoholic watermelon. Dangerous Watermelon.

Great party.

A Little Lyrical Thought Pattern

If you're a music person then songs (lyrics) get you through life. They become memory keepers. Reminders of yesterday. Of good times and bad. Of specific moments or broad periods of time.

Here are some of my moments. Some of my thoughts. Here are lyrics that explain for me different periods of my life that I've had or want to have.

Days like these bring out the strength in me so I can face my reflection and say... been burnt by the fire, been stuck underwater, strung up on the wire and still the world goes round. Been tossed like a free throw, knocked out when the wind blows. Pull the curtain on the hurtin' cause I'm not going down.
- JoDee Messina

Well I can't tell you where I'm going, I'm not sure of where I've been.
But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end. I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it. I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit.

God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain. Redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain.

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru.
- Dolly Parton

This world spins too fast if you let it. There's always one more thing to do. But lookin' back I never have regretted. Takin' off early or callin' in sick. Or lovin' away a Sunday afternoon.

It was time well wasted. And there's no way I trade a few more dollars or things crossed off my list, for a day I'll never forget. No I didn't get a thing done but I sure soaked up every minute of the memory we were makin' and I count it all as time well wasted.
-Brad Paisley

I went sky divin', I went rocky mountain climbin', I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu. And I loved deeper, And I spoke sweeter, And I gave forgiveness I've been denying, And he said someday I hope you get the chance, To live like you were dyin'.
- Tim McGraw

I've got everything, more than I ever dreamed. I love my life. I thank God for all I have, and that I love this man, who loves his wife. I love my life.
- Jamie O'Neal

An I'll grab the wheel and point it west. Pack the good and leave the rest. I'll drive until I find the missing piece. You said I wouldn't get too far on a tank of gas and an empty heart, but I have everything I'll ever need. I got this old guitar and a brand new set of strings.
- Miranda Lambert

When I'm crashing through the madness, Not sure who I'm supposed to be, When I'm caught up in the darkness, It's your hand that's leading me, You bring me back to solid ground, You lift me up right here, right now.

In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss, When I'm in your arms, that's where it is, When we're tangled up and can't resist, When we feel that rush, that's where it is

It's a lifetime filled with tight embraces, The biggest things in the smallest place.
- Carrie Underwood

Maybe those sets of lyrics will mean something to you. Maybe they won't. Maybe one will touch you or maybe not. But they all remind me of things that have happened in my life. They let me know where I was and where I want to go. They're a map of my life. You won't understand the map and that's okay. I'm the only one who needs to.

But I do hope you have your own...

Drinking on the Job

Gotta love when drinking on the job is not only acceptable but expected. Yeah, that's right. I'm sittin' here drinking a Red Hook. Gotta love it.

A Schizophrenic Conversation for One

So to adhere to the actual title of this site, I'm going to take on the issue of movement. Movement could mean a lot of things, such as an actual physical movement like nodding your head or shaking someone's hand, or it could mean specific actions taken by an individual or group to get a specific result.

That's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about the need to move to a different location or to a different job or to a different life if we're really going there. So yes, it entails actual physical movement, but that's not the end-all of the situation. So, enough of trying to sound intelligent. I just want to leave. This job definitely, the town not necessarily. Unless of course a great opportunity comes up in the Caymans. Then I might take off for real. Itchy feet is what I say I have. Not sure where the saying comes from but it seems apt for this particular issue. It's the feeling of unsatisfaction, of uselessness, of not being able to use your brain that's the driving force behind the need to move. Those things are what cause the restlessness to take hold and slowly drive you crazy until you give in.

Then comes the obvious question - why am I still here? I'm here because of restrictions. Money restrictions, job opportunity restrictions, lease restrictions and then some. "You can't leave a job after only three months, it looks bad." Well, so what? What if I don't care? I'll get a job. I'm not worried. Anyone can find a job at some point. It all depends on what type of job you want.

So, the money question - What type of job do you want?

"Who the fuck knows!"

Yeah, that's not going to help the situation any.

"Well, it should be out of the office, or at least out of the office more than in the office. I die a little every day sitting behind a computer. It should entail thinking, that's important. Oh, and maybe some writing because people tell me I'm good at that. Hmm, what else? Oh, and if it can pay well that would be good too."

Yeah. Keep dreaming. Or, better yet, STOP DREAMING.

"Well, I don't want to stop dreaming. Dreaming is a hell of a lot more fun than reality. I mean really, everybody knows that. It's just turning the dream into reality that I'm having a problem with."

Yes. We know. Hence the definition of dream. This is a good time to try to be practical. That's p-r-a-c-t-i-c-a-l. Understand?

"Well, I'm not stupid. I know that I need to turn my dream into some sort of practical achievement. But saying that that's not possible is a very pessimistic outlook on life. I, on the other hand, believe that people's dreams can become reality if they work hard enough for it. Why shouldn't that be the case?"

A lost cause. That's what you are. But, you're a lost cause with a damn good point. So, maybe I need to think more like you. A rut isn't where I want to be, nor is it where I want to end up.

"See. I might be a dreamer, but I just made reality hit you in the face."

It's a New Day

Well, I had meant to come on and blog about my bus ride this morning. Which was kind of amusing. There was a woman wearing this bright green top with patterned pants and a huge sun hat. She was also carrying one of those backpacks that you can roll. Yeah, no joke. And she was smiling the whole time. She even came with an iPod. And the woman next to me smelled so badly of smoke I almost choked. Then a friend of mine got on the bus but when I called out to her she didn't hear me because she had her iPod on so the woman across from me gave me a wierd look. I wanted to be like, "Bitch please, I know that girl." (I didn't of course)

But, that's not the reason why I finally did sign on to blog. I've signed on because it's a new day. A day in which I got no work done (which isn't really new) but a day in which I looked up a ton of cool jobs. Today is the day when I realized I might just get out of what i'm doing sooner than I had expected. This is cause for celebration. I might not spend the rest of this year bored out of my mind at work. I might not wake up dreading the fact that I have to go to this job that I can't stand. Definitely cause for celebration. Also, it's Thursday...one day closer to the weekend.

It's a new day folks. I'm kinda liking it.

Random

So there are a couple of thoughts I'd like to get out there today.

One: Instant Messenger at work. By far the greatest thing for someone who needs to waste time w/o being obvious about wasting time. I sit right next to a co-worker and we chat all day long. No one is the wiser. Here's a converstation we just had.

ELKwm05 (3:16:09 PM): they were having a contest to name the new baby panda
ELKwm05 (3:16:17 PM): and someone wrote to the express newspaper
ELKwm05 (3:16:20 PM): and suggested
ELKwm05 (3:16:24 PM): "#7 with rice"
skisox5 (3:16:29 PM): LOL
skisox5 (3:16:32 PM): that's GREAT
ELKwm05 (3:16:38 PM): that would have beeen hilarious
skisox5 (3:16:41 PM): yeah, def
ELKwm05 (3:17:01 PM): too bad the nat'l zoo doesn't have a good sense of humor

Really, the intelligence level of our conversations is just astounding. Okay, maybe not, but we sure as hell laugh. Namely to wierd looks by people walking down the hall by our desks but...that's the price you pay to waste time.

Two: Ridiculously bad memory. I'm only 26 but I can't remember anything anymore. I don't know what it is. I make fun of my mom because she always tells me the same thing at least 2x. Now I find myself with the same problem. So i'm in a predicament when I want to yell at her for doing it when I know that I do it too.

Don't ask....I forgot what I actually wanted "Two" to be.

Alright, done for now. I might come back if I remember what I wanted to say. Don't hold your breath.

Fall TV Shows

Last nightvwas the beginning of the Fall TV craze for me. Prison Break's season premiere was fantastic. With a murder at the end that I did not see coming. All I could do was sit there and go "Holy Shit" many times over.

And the new break out show for me....Vanished! It premiered right after Prison Break. What a great show. I recommend watching it. It looks like it's going to have some great plot twists that should keep it interesting throughtout the season. It has the feel of 24 to it. Like you have to pay close attention or you'll miss something.

Although no one is better than Jack Bauer.

I realize it's very early in the TV season, but i'm getting excited nonetheless.

The Weekend

This weekend I was a 21 year old in a 26 year old's body. Don't know what made me think I could drink all day without eating and still function. I have Jada to thank for getting me home safely seeing as I don't remember going home. Nor do I remember the end of the night. Apparently I danced with a not so attractive black man for too long. Yet my friends thought this was funny and didn't pull me away.

I also hear that Riley's dog bed makes for a great pillow. Yeah. It was that bad.

But I have to admit. I had an awesome time...