Sunday, January 17, 2010

It's Been 4 Years

Well, it's been 4 years since I've last posted, or even looked at, this blog. I'm bored at home on a rainy Sunday so thought I'd take a look. It's kind of a trip to read some of the posts. They're so very angst-ridden and lonely and lustful and passionate and confused. It's interesting to know how immature I was back then, as compared to how I am now anyway. I think it was the stage of life I was in and there's nothing wrong with that but it's powerful to read it now. Anyway, maybe I'm back, maybe I'm not....I guess we'll see.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The Beginning of the End?

I was having a conversation today with a friend from work about relationships and age. She's only 22 but will be married in two weeks...I, on the other hand, am 26 and just at the beginning stages of a relationship. When I was 22 I had just gotten out of a serious 3 year long relationship and was just looking to have some fun. I dated, hooked up and just played around for a year or two, without having to worry about a thing. It was great. Then I got into another serious relationship at 23-24. Still, there's nothing really "heavy" to think about at that age. You're still young. Then 25 rolls around and now you're in your mid-upper 20s...then 26...and now you start looking at guys' ring fingers to see if they're married. So what happens when you start to date at 26? For most people, it's not just "fun" anymore. Women at least at 26 start to think about the long term. Will this relationship be the last one? Is he the type of guy I can see spending the rest of my life with? Is it worth the time and effort if you're not sure he's the right one for you? All these questions now come into play b/c you're getting to an age where it's like, Okay, time to figure out your life. So for me, being at the beginning of possibly my last relationship, it's a strange and scary feeling. This could be it. Or it may not be. But the prospect of it being a "possibility" is remarkably unnerving in itself.

You have to wonder if it effects how you act in the relationship. If it effects how you respond to the person. Did I just start to become that crazy girl because something in me is saying, "this could be it for you." It's a strong possiblity, right? I mean, subconsiously, that could be the reason why I'm a little more "psycho" than I ever was before. It's interesting to think about and I'm not really sure that I like the thought very much. It was a lot easier when you didn't have to worry about "forever." Not that I'm worried...it's not like an everyday thing or anything as extreme as that. It's just a niggling thought in the back of my mind that I'm not getting younger and I'd like to be settled sometime in the not too distant future. That's just screaming grownup!

Oh well. There's nothing I can do about it. It's life. Just entering into a different phase I guess. It's an unsettling one, but it's the one where you come out settled. So it can't be all that bad...

I hope.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

"It's New"

It's like an ache, slowly pulsing through your body, without end. He's there next to you or he's miles away, still the ache stays with you. You want him. In every way possible, you want him. Next to you, on top of you, underneath you, inside of you. Physically, emotionally, you want him. Do you know that feeling? Have you felt it before? It's intoxicating, it's like drowning, it's exhilarating and suffocating all at the same time. It's new. It'll drive you crazy and you'll love the entire ride until you crash and burn. Or you won't....crash and burn. You have to take the ride to find out. That's what "new" is...

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

It's Never a Good Thing...

...to start obsessing.
...to start second-guessing.
...to overreact.
...to feel insecure when there's no reason to feel that way.
...to question when no question is necessary.
...to distrust, when trust wasn't breached to begin with.
...to worry, when worrying will only get you more worried.
...to doubt when there's no reason for doubt.

All of those things only cloud the issue. The real issue, the truth, the reality of the situation.

It's never a good thing...to do anything I listed above.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

My Dream Plan for Today

It's raining.

I'm pmsing.

= bad mood.

My cure:

Go home.

Take a nap.

Get up and drink.

A lot.

Sounds good right? I figure it's Thursday, so we're close enough to Friday for it to be okay to drink. It's raining so what better way to spend your day than lazing around watching tv with a glass of wine in your hand. Or two. Or three. Or, what the hell, a bottle. Or two...

It would also be a good day to cook. Grab a recipe out of your favorite cookbook, buy the food, and make a great meal.

Eating and Drinking.

That's my plan.

If you don't like it...

Tough.

Monday, September 11, 2006

It's Raining

There are certain advantages to rain. I mean, like the next person, I feel like rain can be annoying and inconvenient. But there are those times when rain is exactly what you need. A quiet morning lazily spent in bed because you've slept later than normal because it's dark out. The pitter-patter of rain falling on the roof while you're in your pajamas, under a blanket on the couch. The tv is on low, there's a book on the coffee table, and you're ready to fall asleep again even though you just got up. You don't feel guilty for being lazy and you don't feel like you have to do anything but sit, lay down, and relax.

It's those times when rain is more comfort than annoyance that makes you sit back and enjoy the moment. Most of us move too fast to take all of it in, but on those days when it's raining and you don't want to go out and you're not doing chores around the house, when you can really just enjoy life. You can enjoy the person your with, be it a lover, husband, wife, child or friend. You talk to them. You have conversations that last longer than "How was your day? What do you want for dinner?" Those standard questions that we ask everyday because it's part of our routine. There's nothing wrong with them, but the rainy day gives you a chance to make love in the middle of the day, to play board games with your kids, or watch movies with your friends. To laugh, and eat and sleep. To be homey.

There are advantages to rain.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Liz Bauer's Artist Statement - Written by me

An artist’s passion can become animalistic in its very nature. The feeling is basic, it’s aggressive, it’s a fight for life and the need to survive.

To create art is what breathes life into the artist. Art is a necessity and passion is the blinding force behind it.

For Liz Bauer art is life. It is her air, her haven, her joy and her sorrow. Art is her everything. Looking at her work you can see the love and attention it gets. You can feel its weight. What its mood is. You’ll know what it’s about because it will resonate with you.

It’s complexity wrapped in innocence. At first glance childlike, at second interesting, at third – powerful. It’s straightforward and intricate in detail. It tells a story about her life: her growth as a person and her struggle to find herself. Liz’s art is not an object. It’s a living force emanating from her soul, through her hands and onto paper.

Her use of words or short statements along with her characters adds to the meaning behind her paintings. Some are serious, some are funny, and all are great.

Check out her work at Hyperactive Productions