The Beginning of the End?

I was having a conversation today with a friend from work about relationships and age. She's only 22 but will be married in two weeks...I, on the other hand, am 26 and just at the beginning stages of a relationship. When I was 22 I had just gotten out of a serious 3 year long relationship and was just looking to have some fun. I dated, hooked up and just played around for a year or two, without having to worry about a thing. It was great. Then I got into another serious relationship at 23-24. Still, there's nothing really "heavy" to think about at that age. You're still young. Then 25 rolls around and now you're in your mid-upper 20s...then 26...and now you start looking at guys' ring fingers to see if they're married. So what happens when you start to date at 26? For most people, it's not just "fun" anymore. Women at least at 26 start to think about the long term. Will this relationship be the last one? Is he the type of guy I can see spending the rest of my life with? Is it worth the time and effort if you're not sure he's the right one for you? All these questions now come into play b/c you're getting to an age where it's like, Okay, time to figure out your life. So for me, being at the beginning of possibly my last relationship, it's a strange and scary feeling. This could be it. Or it may not be. But the prospect of it being a "possibility" is remarkably unnerving in itself.

You have to wonder if it effects how you act in the relationship. If it effects how you respond to the person. Did I just start to become that crazy girl because something in me is saying, "this could be it for you." It's a strong possiblity, right? I mean, subconsiously, that could be the reason why I'm a little more "psycho" than I ever was before. It's interesting to think about and I'm not really sure that I like the thought very much. It was a lot easier when you didn't have to worry about "forever." Not that I'm worried...it's not like an everyday thing or anything as extreme as that. It's just a niggling thought in the back of my mind that I'm not getting younger and I'd like to be settled sometime in the not too distant future. That's just screaming grownup!

Oh well. There's nothing I can do about it. It's life. Just entering into a different phase I guess. It's an unsettling one, but it's the one where you come out settled. So it can't be all that bad...

I hope.